It is important that you know how to differentiate a shy child from an introverted one. When a child is introverted, he enjoys solitude, has few friends by choice, and does not feel sad or bad about it. When a child or a person of any age is shy, they long for not being more sociable, and they envy the social skills of those people who are more outgoing in their life.
Once you know the difference and you have realized that your child is shy, then it is important that you take into account everything that we are going to comment on next. They are common mistakes that many parents make without knowing that they should change the way they proceed.
Shyness: mistakes that are made
Shyness is a character trait of the personality that can disappear over time as long as it is worked in the right way. Therefore, parents must take into account some keys so that a child can overcome shyness over time instead of making it worse over the years.
If your child is shy, you should not do any of the following:
- Force you to say hello when you don’t want to
- Make a fool of yourself when you don’t want to greet or interact with other people.
- Forcing you to do something you don’t want to do and exposing yourself just because you don’t want to do it. This will only add to your embarrassment, and you will withdraw further.
- Excuse him when he does not want to do something by saying things like “he is very shy.” If you excuse him, you are reinforcing this behavior and labeling him shy.
- Compare you with others. It is not advisable at all that you compare him with other people (neither family nor friends).
What you do have to do
On the other hand, what a shy child does need is that you leave him space to feel that he is capable of doing it. Provide safe situations where you can interact with others without feeling the social pressure of any kind.
In addition, it is also important to work on social skills from a young age to be able to relate to other people in a way that can do so without feeling anxiety. For this, the ideal is that you follow the following tips:
- Provide little challenges for socializing like inviting a friend over for lunch, Praise his achievements so that he will be confident in himself and in his ability to relate to others.
- Keep in touch with professionals who work with your child when you are not around, such as teachers or after-school monitors. So you can know what their behavior is with other children when you are not around.
- When someone asks you a question, if he is capable and old enough to answer for himself, do not answer for him. Let it express itself freely.
- Encourage him to speak in public or sing whenever he wants to. Never force him to do something he doesn’t want to do at that particular moment.
- Teach social skills by being your best example. If you have a socially active life, your child will learn from watching you interact with others to communicate with other people. The ideal is to meet other adults with children, make friends with neighbors, with parents from school … This will be of great help for the socialization of your children and for them to overcome their shyness.
- Show patience and understanding all the time. If you try to force him to do things he does not want or get nervous because he is having a hard time because of his shyness, it will not be a good idea in the short or long term. Your child should feel that you accept him as he is; only in this way can he improve his shyness and overcome this barrier that causes anxiety.