What To Do When A 3-Year-Old Is Defiant

As your child begins to understand independence and control, you have to learn to respond to challenging behavior so that your little one assimilates limits and self-control. The upbringing of a challenging three-year-old can be overwhelming for a parent.

It is in this developmental period in your child that he begins to understand that he is separate from you and is naturally eager to seek more independence and control over his world. The problem, of course, is that while their desire to be independent is accelerating, children this age have not yet mastered self-control.

They want to be independent, but they don’t listen to logic or reason.

They are still motivated by their needs, wants, and urges, not by logic and reason. For better or for worse, children’s most frustrating behaviors are often quite normal and developmentally appropriate.

It is important to note that some young children are, by nature, more likely to be more challenging than others, like children whose emotional reactions are large and intense, as well as children who are more cautious and fearful.

They tend to have a more difficult time with change and therefore protest, especially in times of transition (for example, getting into a car seat, going to bed, or going somewhere new), as these experiences can be quite stressful for them.

Take into account what your family is like

Thinking about the following questions can help you adapt and apply the appropriate information and strategies to your child and family… because you are also unique and wonderful! These questions are general, different types of questions that you will have to adapt to the context in which you find yourself.

  • Why do you tend to be more oppositional with your child?
  • What do these things have in common?
  • Why do you think this is?
  • How can this understanding help you help your child cope better with intense emotions?
  • How do you respond when your child is defiant?
  • What works and what doesn’t? What can you learn from this?

Remember that your three-year-old’s eyes are watching you every day, and his defiant behavior may have been learned from your own behavior.

In this sense, it is essential that you have the same behavior that you would like to see in your child not only now, but also as he grows older.

Now your child is a sponge, and it is time to start instilling in him behaviors and values ​​that will serve him well in his future development. If you want your child to become an honest, kind person with good values… You will have to look at how your daily behavior is and if you meet the behavioral requirements that you want to see in your child now and in his future.